“When little people experience big emotions, it is our job to bring the calm, not join the chaos.” –L.R. Knost
A power struggle is when a child refuses to do something you let them do then argument carries on. One problem is that the more you argue or try to force the child to do something, often the more tempers flare.
Kids see power struggle at times fun, much more if you're in public, they'll throw more fit as they see this as gaining power. They're grabbing this power in inappropriate way. They're loving this struggle and they won't easily back down. So parents needs to learn how to avoid these situations.
There are tons of strategies to end these struggles, stop the arguing, and gain compliance.
The very first step is to be willing to let go. Sometimes the more desperate a parent becomes to get a child to comply, the more resistant the child grows.Calm down and let go. Get out of the power struggle, cut the argument before it gets heated. A great way to prevent this is to say "I love you too much to argue".
Then to avoid power struggles over the same issue, think of ways to give them power throughout the day so they're not grabbing the power inappropriately. Try to problem-solve together. Look for a solution you can both agree. Offer the kids choices. Kids loves choices. Choices give power, it gives the kids a sense of control. Let them join you in making the decision to choose to empower them.
Choices are very important. But it's also very important how we deliver the choices. When possible, offer two choices that are 100% totally acceptable to you. Either one they choose is absolutely fine.
Language is also very important. You need to use words that really do indicate a choice. Avoid threatening or bribing when offering choices. Lastly, state your expectations clearly and make your requests calmly.